How to lose your mind while trying to crochet a diaper bag

1. Wait to the last month of friend's pregnancy.  The any-minute-now aspect makes it all so much more enjoyable.
2. Make up a pattern.  Use another pattern for a basis.  Then do the math to enlarge the pattern and see how well you can wing it.
3. Crochet foundation chain.  Make sure it's twisted.  Ignore that and start anyway.  After 3 rounds when you've created an inspired spiral, rip back.  Grumble.  Start again.
4. Crochet foundation chain.  Make sure it's straight.  After 3 rounds note that what should be straight is starting to look like a C.  Rip back.  Let out exasperated sigh.  Start again.
5. Crochet foundation chain.  Make sure it's straight.  Measure for length.  Note that it is precisely 21" as desired.  Crochet 7 rounds to complete the bottom of the bag.  Remeasure.  Note that somehow 21" is over 25" and is way too big even after accounting for felting shrinkage.  Curse loudly.  Rip back. start again.
6. Crochet foundation chain.  Make sure it's straight.  Measure for length.  Now it is 17".  Crochet 7 rounds.  Remeasure.  Mysteriously still 17".  Reach a point of acceptance.  Prepare to start bag body.  Count stitches.  Even more mysteriously have decrease 7 stitches over the course of 7 rows.  Curse loudly and profusely.  Rip back.  Curse more.  Start again.
7. Crochet foundation chain.  Make sure it's straight.  Make it 20".  Say a prayer.  Commence 7 rounds.  Finish 7 rounds.  Refuse to count as I feel a wee bit unstable.  Put crochet away.  Promise to try again tomorrow.  Maybe.